Living With Autism

My name is Kelly. I was born in 1978. I was also born with Aspegers, which is a form of autism. 

It’s funny how people say that you can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family. This is so true. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t choose mine. My parents were very abusive to me in different ways. My father was physically abusive, while my mother was verbally abusive.

When I was 2 and it came time for potty training, my father’s way was to beat me until I learned. When I was older, if I or my brother dared to wake my father, just by playing, he would beat us.

My father was a very lazy man. He couldn’t hold down a job. I don’t remember every single detail of my childhood, but I do remember my father sleeping a lot during the day, while my mother worked or beating us children. He also kept my brother out of schhol to run his errands.

My brother played football when he was younger. It didn’t take long for my father to load on the pressure. My father wasn’t able to play football when he was younger, so he pretty much lived out his chilhood through my brother. He constantly beat my brother whenever he lost or did something wrong while playing football.

I wanted at the time to try out for cheerleading, but my father wouldn’t allow it. Even though he beat on both of us, I always felt he like my brother more than me. For instance, he bought my brother a drum set. When I asked him for something, he said “no”.

My parents ended up divorcing when I was about 11. I told my mother about the abuse and she filed for divorce. She also gave him the divoce papers on his birthday. She said ” Happy birthday, dear I want a divorce”. I started getting frantic and told my mother, “don’t leave without me”. It’s a choice that at times, I have regretted.

My mother and I got an apartment not long after she left my father. For a while, everything was fine. That, is until the verbal abuse and having me wait on her hand and foot started. It didn’ t take long for it to start, either.

She would have me do everything for her and I do mean everything. I had to do every chore, cook all her meals & go everywhere for her. Now, I don’t drive because of my autism and I am terrified to drive. I had to ask people to take me places for her.

Whenever I did my chores, if I missed a spot of forgot something, she would put me down by calling me stupid, or dummy. She made me feel like I couldn’t do anything right. She would do the same thing if I went the store and forgot to get something.

She, too, at times hit me. It wasn’t as often as my father, but it still happened.

She was diagnosed with pneumonia in 2011. For 3 years I took care of her. The thanks I got was her threatening to kill me and telling me she hated my guts.

I had to put her in a nursing home facility because I couldn’t take care of her anymore and for my own personal safety.

After my mother left, I discovered K-Love. It truly has been a blessing to me. My favorite artist is Danny Gokey. His music has really touched my when I needed it. I have a lot of issues from everything that’s been done to me, but I have complete faith and hope in God, that things will get better for me.

I have trouble explaining things, so I did the best I could.

God bless.

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